Does this statement sound familiar? “I am my own worst enemy”. Or how about this variation: “My biggest problem is me”. Does this describe where you are? Can you relate to feeling as if for every right thing that you do you also do two or three things wrong? I admit, some days I am right there with you.
In fact, it’s been one of those mornings already. As I write this I’ve already been beating myself up mentally over some things from yesterday that I wish I had done differently. Mistakes were made and the worst part is, right in the middle of it all, I knew I was making the wrong choice and I didn’t do anything to stop it!
That’s a bad, bad feeling and it leaves me both angry and sad. If I chose to dwell on it and wallow in it then it would be extremely destructive and the mistakes of yesterday would lead to even more mistakes today. Choosing to stay in a place of self-pity would mean that I miss God’s blessing for today and miss out on being a blessing to someone else. I recognize that and I don’t want it to happen.
Here’s the good part: No sin or mistake of mine is ever big enough or bad enough to overcome God’s grace and forgiveness for me. Praise God for that truth! I messed up. No question about that. It was yesterday’s sin and I choose, by the power of Christ in me, to leave yesterday’s sin behind and move forward to whatever God has for me on this day.
This is the day that the Lord has made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24 (ESV)
One of the first things I did this morning, even as I was feeling very low, was to give thanks and praise to God above. Even when I’m feeling very bad, He is always very good. At the same time, I confessed my sin and spoke to God very frankly and earnestly about it. I acknowledged that there are parts of me that wants to do what God hates. As hard as I try and as much as I want to be perfect, I’m not there yet and I still sometimes make choices that are wrong. As frustrating as it is, I let my sin nature get the best of me and I have to be honest with God and admit that the only cure for me is more Jesus and less “me”.
This is my blessed hope. That Jesus isn’t going to leave me as I am right now. He’s still working on me, I’m not a finished product yet. I am ever amazed that he chooses to use such an imperfect person like me to do His work and carry out His plan. I can only trust in Him to finish what He started when He saved me and called me to be His child. His love covers all of my sin and sets me free from guilt, if I am willing to let go of myself and trust Him with everything.
He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. Psalm 40:2 (ESV)
How about you? Does guilt have a place in your heart today? Does it feel as if your failures are hung around your neck like a weight that is dragging you down? Do sadness and anger haunt your every step? If so, then it is time to be free of it. It is time to turn all of those things over to God who has already paid the full price for all of our sin. There is no mistake, no error, no horrible act that was not covered by His blood that day at Calvary. Confess it, commit to Him and let Him heal you of all that is broken and wounded.